A Wiser Fella Than Myself Once Said… (Restored Original Post)

I have no idea what I’m doing, as the tag-line indicates. I’m meant to be writing an essay right now; a study on how prohibition could inform contemporary debates on drug legalization. As you can see, it’s not going well.

But as a wiser fella than myself once said, ‘sometimes you eat the b’ar, and sometimes the b’ar, well, he eats you’.

Now you may have guessed from the blog title, and the quote that I just typed out, that I’m a fan of the Big Lebowski. Might even be my favourite film. So before I get back to writing about alcohol, drugs, criminals and the U.S of A, I’m going to take some time to talk about a little thing called Dudeism. Mainly because I don’t know what else to talk about. I’ll probably digress from there onwards.

But rather than just spewing out a load of preach-y tripe that you could read on a website somewhere, I’m going to talk about how it’s affected my life. However, I’m going to have to do this all rather briefly. I should really do some work.

I’ve been a believer in Dudeism for years now. Four of them, in fact. I remember sitting in a cinema back in 2010, and seeing a commercial where the Dudely Lama walked along a beach, and told people about the worlds slowest-growing religion. In fact, I actually remember that advertisement better than I remember the film. Who knows what it was I was watching. Anyway, I was inspired by what this man was saying, the whole idea of takin’ ‘er easy was one that very much appealed to me. I’ll admit that I’m pretty damn lazy.

In fact, I think this spell of laziness began in 2010. Coincidence? Perhaps. I blame school mostly. Or sixth form. However you want to look at it. See, around the time I learnt about Dudeism, I was at the age where you have to decide what you want to do with your life. Like most 16 year old kids, I had no fucking clue. How could you? Anyway, I took History, Art and English. The third one because we were offered cake on our birthday. A rather flimsy reason, but one that I’m glad I went with. But these three subjects weren’t very time consuming, and after two years, they led me to take up American Studies, something which required an equally small amount of time. Of course, I have to do a lot of reading between lectures, but overall, that amounts to 9 hours a week for £3.5k a year. You do the maths.

Anyway, where was I? Over the years, as I’ve ‘practised’ Dudeism, I haven’t practised much else. With three hours being my longest day at university, I look back at my time in secondary school and wonder how I managed it. Nine a.ms are the bane of student existence.

Now I’m not knocking Dudeism, I love it, just this year I got ordained. For a second time. I got ordained back in 2010, but when it finally came to getting my official certificate, I’d forgotten my date of ordination. But it’s only now, four years on, that I’ve finally got a good idea of where to go next. I think.

I’ve always wanted to do something creative. First it was ‘I want to be an artist’, then ‘I want to be a chef’, then ‘journalist’, then ‘writer’, then ‘comic-artist or script writer’, blah de blah, a brief foray into dreams of film production, and now I’m finally settling on the literary side. I’m going to write stuff. Starting now. Whether that takes me to journalism, script writing, or novels, I don’t know. And the fact of the matter is, I don’t really care either. The one thing I do have faith in is things will work themselves out, they just need me to stop being so lazy, and give them a bit of encouragement.

There’s no point worrying about my future, saying what I’m going to do, and then just forgetting about it. I need to be proactive. It’s a bold claim for someone my age, and one that I’m not entirely sure will come to fruition. But here goes nothing. I’m going to keep on chilling out as a Dudeist Priest, but I’m also going to write stuff in my spare time, whether it be ideas for a novel that I have, or just general musings. Probably the latter.

I’m not going to tell you to watch this space, or start acting pretentious by saying that 2014 is ‘my year’. I’m just going to start writing, for me. We’ll see how it goes.

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